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89X Contest

89X Contest.

THE WASTED YEARS!

Well the drawing is complete and I think overall it was good but I am expecting the outcome will be not mine to celebrate.  I know, confidence! I am trying to work on that. I sank around thirty hours or so into it but I feel at the end I kind of ran out of steam. I work on pieces so long I start to notice every flaw, every missed pen stroke, every mistake. I keep on drawing an I dismiss them as “my own style” a big shitting mess is really what I believe it amounts too. I am not sure if I set the bar so high that I can’t reach it ? or I should just accept the fact that I can’t jump that high? and just merely stay in this world of never-ending doodles that I create? I really want to do more in this world than doodle for no purpose. I am expecting to get a job as an illustrator when I finish the school but who knows at this point. It just seems like a great big kick in the face is coming soon.   I also have to say something about Kid Rock’s new album Born free. First, I am a fan of the Kid musically, and I believe he is doing great things for the city of Detroit. I also believe that the new album is well produced and musically sound. I sense a ton of Bob Seger influence which I love, and I like the fact that he does what he wants but, but, but I just want to know what happen to the Kid that called himself America’s Bad Ass? Rock & Roll Jesus? and the guy who I’ve never met a Mother Fucker quite like?

Confidence

This week I attended a drawing seminar at Specs Howard. They had a talented caricature artist there doing demos on how to caricature faces. I have been doing caricatures for about 5 years now and really enjoy watching other artist’s at work and how they approach their work. I feel that you can always learn something, right? I decided to flex my art muscles a bit and instead of using the traditional marker and paper I used computer and my digital drawing pad. I felt it was time to attempt the amazing paperless caricature and show-off in front of the other inkers. I have been practicing on this style for a while and it works well. I still have not reached the speed of pen and paper but I can still do it in a timely manner. Well,  I got the “That’s Cool” and “I’ve never seen that before” comments which I of course welcome openly but no comments  from other artist. The weird thing was I did not do it for the reason of praise but for the mere fact I was sitting next to a man who calls himself “Caricature King” seriously. I know who he was by checking my competition that I am going up against on the web. I wanted, for some reason to show him that there will be new competition in the future. I think of it in my head like The Great fighter “Ali” did when he was fighting Joe Fraiser for the first time. Ali drove to the mans house 30 hours away just so he could taunt him before the fight. He arrived in a bus, loaded with people and proceeded to mock the man they called Champion. Ali said he had to do that just for the mere fact he felt that Fraiser was a better fighter and he had to play mind games with him just enough to make Fraiser think he had to change his approach to the way he would fight against him. You know smack! Well anyway It was pretty cool. I wonder Cocky or Confident? I hope to beat him in  a upcoming event.

What makes an Artist an Artist?

What makes an Artist an Artist? I have thought about that over the years and have asked many people that same question. Most of the time the explanation starts off simple but after a few minutes of thought it becomes an endless array of factors that point in every direction.  I once thought that only the works that hung in the most exclusive art museums were true art, the Mona Lisa, The Scream, and Melting Clocks etc…  I thought that Artists needs to accomplish these goals, in order to ever call yourself an Artist. I thought you had to wear special jackets and hats like I had seen so many of the students of upper-class art schools adorn. I thought you had to carry around a portfolio and an espresso and be somewhat smug. I started to question this ART STUFF after many years of drawing and doing artistic related activities I was told by a teacher that I was indeed an Artist. Me? an Artist?that’s impossible. I never met any of the criteria that I just explained nor did I think I could be, or would be an Artist. I know now that being an Artist is a way of “thinking” not what you do or what you look like.

What makes an Artist an Artist?

What makes an Artist an Artist? I have thought about that over the years and have asked many people that same question. Most of the time the explanation starts off simple but after a few minutes of thought it becomes an endless array of factors that point in every direction.  I once thought that only the works that hung in the most exclusive art museums were true art, the Mona Lisa, The Scream, and Melting Clocks etc…  I thought that Artists needs to accomplish these goals, in order to ever call yourself an Artist. I thought you had to wear special jackets and hats like I had seen so many of the students of upper-class art schools adorn. I thought you had to carry around a portfolio and an espresso and be somewhat smug. I started to question this ART STUFF after many years of drawing and doing artistic related activities I was told by a teacher that I was indeed an Artist. Me? an Artist?that’s impossible. I never met any of the criteria that I just explained nor did I think I could be, or would be an Artist. I know now that being an Artist is a way of “thinking” not what you do or what you look like. What defines your artistic ways.

STOP DRAWING AND PAY ATTENION!

I recently was told that one of my main reason that has been preventing me from moving my Art to a higher level is that I lack confidence. I have heard that before but this time it seemed to make sense, I guess?. I have been exploring the world of confidence trying to locate what exactly confidence is. I read the dictionary version and of course it gave me a description of it. I during my life  intertwined two of my feelings together confidence & cocky. I really believed that the two went together and it seemed liked the same thing. I didn’t like the idea of cockiness because of many sports I had played. There was always some kid that I couldn’t get along with because they had a cocky attitude. I am slowly trying to separate the two-word association and find out the question I now reach. “Where do I get more Confidence?”

I was told through school and home and everywhere that I need to stop drawing and pay attention. Every teacher telling me that I will never get anywhere by drawing and sketching. No daydreaming either, that was the ultimate taboo. I went through my entire life afraid to show my work because it was treated like I was wrong for doing it. I also got a lot of, “that’s weird” or “are you mentally okay”?. I wish it could have been different and more supportive by others near to me but, you can’t change the past. I never could stop drawing then, I never have and never will. I believe that is a big part why I have never had much confidence and I am working to change that.

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